it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Girls should come with a carfax report
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
