Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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