sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
