Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
