By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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