Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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