wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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