based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
