We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
