If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
