Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
