he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
