i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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