I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
