Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
