I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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