My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
