WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
