There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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