Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
