I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize