I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
