may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
