Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
