no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
