"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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