Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
