Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
