apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
