4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
