What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
