so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
