4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
