Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
PANTIES FOUND
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
