the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize