I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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