walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
