He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
