doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
