We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
