how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize