I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
