And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
