Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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