So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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