You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
