im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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