She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize