If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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