He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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