did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
