absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I will pee on everything he values.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
