I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
