I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
