Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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