what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
