Where is the hickey?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
