wakey wakey hands off snakey
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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