We need to rekindle our bromance
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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