if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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