my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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