Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
