I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
