i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
