Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
