Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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