It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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