How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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